I turn on off my alarm and put my gym gear on. It’s six am and cold but this is not going to stop me. In the kitchen is my teenage son, Caleb, in his running shorts, “Morning Mum, just going for a jog.” He says as he rushes out the door. I have taught him well when it comes to fitness and health.
Something is bothering me this morning but I must remain focused. After my nutritious breakfast of oats and juice I grab my water bottle and head for the gym which is only a seventeen minute jog away. “Good morning, Jane,” says the receptionist and I feel good I am know here. After my workout I feel exhilerated and easily jog up the slight hill but my little problem begins to fester in my mind all the way home.As I put the kettle on I hear Caleb is taking a shower and a voice in my head says, “Go on.” I make my cup of tea and the voice says, “You know you’re going to anyway.” I stuff something in my pocket and creep down the stairs which lead to the garage. I close the door and in the dark I light a cigerette. “Ah, thats better, isn’t it?” says the voice. “I hate you.” I replied.
Haha! I never could have guessed the ending. Suspenseful. Nice.
This is a great piece of writing about smoking. I just love the overall scenery relating to the benefits of quitting smoking.
I enjoyed reading your piece, I did notice two errors, and as I am a fellow student who would want specific feed back so as to be able to correct it, I wanted to let you know that there should be a space after the period. It appears like this: (home.As) and the only other easily noticeable error was: (says the receptionist and I feel good I am know here.) I am sure that the word “know” was meant to be “now”.
Otherwise, an excellent and surprising story so far, and I hope to read more soon.
If you get the chance to do the same for me, I have received only non-specific feed back so far on my story, if you can offer any specifics, I would be very grateful.
Sincerely,
Angela Lacey